Everyone is Gay?!

It seems that whenever the subject of the negative aspects of being gay comes up, people are focused on the discrimination that they face rather than the pain they observe. It makes me wonder if what I consider the dark side of being gay is specific to me and maybe a few others rather than something that many others feel too.

For me, the dark side is watching friends, family members and crushes hide their own feelings from others, and sometimes even from themselves. To watch them hold back expressing themselves, deny slip ups and hurt themselves and those around them in some attempt to fit in some fake normal declared by society. People think that when gay people say straight-seeming people are gay, it’s purely because we think that person is hot and wish them to be gay. Of course when straight people say that someone is obviously straight, it’s deemed common sense rather than a representation of their ego and desire. And okay, sometimes, the gay person is hoping that the other is gay too, or at least bi, but other times, it’s said because we’re watching the person suffer and wish we could do something about it. When we say “I think they’re gay”, we’re trying to put the possibility into other people’s heads so that they 1) let go of stupid ideas such as everyone is straight until proven otherwise and 2) lighten up on certain comments and ideas around the person so that they may feel more comfortable to express something over which society has made them feel shame.

However, society seems to care only about claiming as many people as possible as part of their BS normal and making other groups feel smaller than they really are just for the sake of doing so. It’s insulting to be accused of “you just want them to be gay” and “you think everyone is gay” when I have to watch the person suffer. No, I don’t want them to be gay. If anything, I want them to be straight to end what they’re doing to themselves. Society is trying to make us seem like we’re crazy and jerks when in actuality, society is the one shaming and hurting people. It’s hard to help when everyone else around is encouraging them to continue hurting themselves just to have that person declared as part of their club rather than another. And who knows? Maybe the person isn’t gay, or even bi, and something else is going on but ignoring signs of confusion and distress isn’t helping anyone. It hurts to watch this happen but in the rare occasion that this is brought up aloud in groups, people prefer to deny it. They honestly believe that it’s easy for someone to admit to others and themselves that they might be gay or bi when everyone around them is telling them to be straight no matter how they feel. They know it’s senseless and have experienced the same thing for other life aspects but when it comes to sexuality, people decide it’s just an excuse people use “to make more people gay”.